Don't even think for a second that you're afraid of being alone.
You are not alone.
I've also created a corner of comfort for all of us moms, friends who have lost their furry baby, and feel so alone and misunderstood.
In this corner of comfort, you'll have access to all the words that many people around you often find difficult to say, partly for fear of making you cry, partly to avoid being banal...
But most of all, they do it for fear of hurting you, of causing you pain.
But remember, you are not alone.
In fact, you'd be surprised at how many of us there are! There are so many of us who suffer from the loss of our furry baby, but together we'll never suffer from loneliness... Never.
I'm Alone in My House
I completely understand how you feel when your furry friend crosses the rainbow bridge.
There's nothing that can prepare us for that moment, and our whole world seems to change suddenly.
The house, once full of life, now seems empty and quiet...
There are no more paws running around every room...
Not even fur on the pillows or on the carpet.
Everything seems strange and empty.
Yet, despite our friend's physical absence, their memory continues to live with us. We continue to see their image in our minds, we still feel their scent and their warmth.
But that feeling of emptiness, that void, is still present.
We feel lost and confused, as if that excruciating void were next to our heart, as if we were missing something fundamental.
At times, it seems like we've lost our place in the world, that we don't have a direction, that we don't know where to go or what to do.
Yet, we must continue to search, to hope, to believe that one day we'll find our way. We can't give in to despair or sadness. We must find the strength within us to keep fighting, to seek happiness and inner peace.
Perhaps, it will be a difficult and long journey, but it will be worth it. In the end, we'll find our way and the feeling of emptiness will dissolve, leaving room for deep gratitude and serenity.
It's a devastating experience, but we know that even if our furry friend isn't with us physically anymore, their memory and their love will continue to live with us forever.
Don't Fear Loneliness
The best thing you can do regarding the emotions that arise when you feel vulnerable is to accept them. So, once again, the first step in overcoming your fear of loneliness is to acknowledge it.
Once you've been able to identify what your fears are, you can start working on them.
When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, it's like you're telling yourself "It's okay, you're fine, you're safe, cared for, and free to be who you truly feel".
It's no surprise that this is also the time when you're most easily recognizable to others. But that's another story. For this story, there's no need to involve others, unless you want to. If at this moment it seems like too big a leap, try starting small;
Maybe write down what scares you about loneliness on a piece of paper. Or as I explain in one of my many articles (which I hope will give you the strength and courage to accept the loss and make the memory of your furry baby sweeter and more positive) You can keep an Emotion Diary.
Remember that often your worst enemy is yourself.
You can't just "get over" the pain or wish it away: you have to live it and, in the end, it will pass.
Write Your Emotions to Overcome the Fear of Loneliness
Writing...
A diary, a novel, an essay, a poem, a stream of consciousness.
It doesn't matter so much what you're writing, as much as it matters that you're letting things out. You can write about how you feel, or about nothing at all, about what happened in your life or about Captain Mustard's imaginary adventure.
Again, there's no right or wrong way to do it, there's only your way.
The writing process can be highly therapeutic, as you release words on paper or on a keyboard, the chaos of your thoughts and feelings organize into something concrete. Even if, upon reading these lines, they seem to make little sense, the fact that you have to put them down already forces you to choose, to put them in order.
This is a great way to express and process emotions and can help you work through your feelings and heal as you prepare to move forward.
If you don't know where to start, I've prepared some writing prompts, choose the ones that inspire you the most or just write one a day.
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One month after the death of your pet, you...
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A time when you cried for joy
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Write about a time when you felt scared
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A time when you felt lost
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Write about a memory from before the loss of your furry best friend
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Three things about yourself that you love and why
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Write a letter to your pet, telling them how much they meant to you.
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Three things that make you happy and why
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Write what would they want for you right now
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A good memory of your pet
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Write about a time when you felt like no one understood what was happening in your life
These writing prompts can help you release trapped emotions and find new ways of thinking about your life. Additionally, we encourage you not to limit yourself to our prompts, but to find your personal way of expressing yourself through writing.
But at the same time, online you'll find other ready-to-use prompts, in case you've finished using mine.
Remember, there's no right or wrong way to do it, there's only your way.
How Do You Feel Now? Less Alone?
How do you feel? What emotions are rising from your soul?
If you feel alone, don't worry. It's normal.
Loneliness can be difficult to handle, but there are many ways to overcome it. As I mentioned before, writing is one of them.
But, for example, you can devote yourself to other hobbies like painting. Just like I did.
Creativity allowed me to transform the pain and fear of loneliness from negative emotions to positive ones.
How did I make my emotions positive and not feel that oppressive pain anymore?
One day, I sat down at my computer, chose an image that truly represented Argo, and started drawing...
I poured all our love into it... And the result was a fantastic portrait of Flowerpup, blooming, full of light and life.
There was no doubt, that was my true Argo! How I wanted to remember her... Happy, wagging her tail, playful, and cheerful.
I had the portrait printed on canvas, framed it, and hung it in the living room, in the most visible and bright corner of the house.
Just by looking at her happy face on the wall every day, things became a little easier.
This is the story of how Flowerpup was born.
A Book Against the Fear of Loneliness
With this book I want to help you plant seeds of hope. And may they germinate into something precious.
With this book, I want to not only give you my experience, my path to healing from pain. My way out of the fear of loneliness.
Remember that every season of grief has its emotions; be patient, be kind, offer yourself what you need, and be compassionate to those who are suffering, whether it's you or someone else.
May you find meaning if you've lost it, may you find yourself if you're lost, and may you remember above all the love you gave and received so that your beloved furry friend truly lives forever through your love.
The door, like the cover of this book, will never be closed forever; we leave it ajar so you can come back, when and if you want.
And, we can't stress it enough, write to us, tell us about your beloved pets, your dreams, and your fears. If there's one thing I honestly didn't expect when I created Flowerpup, and that surprised me like a rainbow after a storm, it's the birth of a community.
I often lack the words to express my gratitude to you...
It all sounds banal and like it's been said before, but none of this would be possible without you.
Whether you believe it or not, you're an inspiration to me.
For this and for everything else, thank you.
No matter what you believe, I like to think that somewhere, on the other side of the rainbow, our furry babies are having fun playing in a meadow, surrounded by all their favorite foods and treats, and that the sun and wind will always keep them company.
See you soon.
Fear of Being Alone Drawing may help you
I can tell you that the first Argo paintings I created were to drive away the fear of loneliness.
The fact that he was no longer at home was really too much for me. He was my shadow, my refuge, my joy... My everything.
But at the same time, I was afraid of forgetting his sweet and silly face!
That's why I started drawing him and plastering the walls and corners of the house with his furry face.
So I wouldn't feel alone.
And to never forget him.
And if you have these fears too, it's normal... They're everyone's fears. And that's why I offer my artistic talent and that of my fellow Flowerpup artists (who have also experienced loss and pain for their furry friends) at your service.
Together we'll create your sweet baby's pet portrait commissions.
A hug,
Helen
1 comment
Helen thank you so much for your honesty. What you have written is beautiful and is so very true for many of us who have struggled with the loss of our beautiful furbabies. It’s been 3 years since I lost my soul furbaby Mollymoo. My heart is so broken and I feel so guilty that I still keep crying for her loss. I have found solace in your absolutely precious and very beautiful portrait of Mollymoo. Thank you so much Helen. Much love and thanks for healing some of the hole I have in my heart from her loss.