I miss my dog, and people don't understand my pain
I miss my dog and lost my mind that day.
I literally screamed when he said “it was just a dog”.
So, I started screaming at the top of my lungs with a friend, crying desperately.
Passers-by looked at me dumbfounded, as if I were crazy or had some wheel out of place…
But at that precise moment I wanted that person to disappear from my sight… How dare he say such a thing, without even thinking about the consequences?
I know, I was wrong to yell like that. I am terribly ashamed.
On the other hand, he couldn't understand how serious this loss was for me… He didn't have a puppy who wagged his tail in the house and brightened his days.
He didn't have who sat next to him when you took a bath…or who sat in the kitchen with him while he cooked (and waited patiently for you to give him a cookie).
And he didn't have anyone who would jump into his bed in the morning and cover him with cuddles and licks on his face.
In short, he didn't have a life partner, a motivator, a sweet puppy next to him 24/7.
I miss my dog so much it hurts
Whether it's the first or fifth time you've lost a pet, it's just as devastating every time it happens.
You have no way to prepare for the grief and grief you feel when you lose your pet.
All of a sudden collapses, you lose your bearings and you no longer know what to do… How to fill your days.
It would be really nice if there was a painless or sweeter way to deal with this terrible emptiness…
Surely the first thing that helped me was to understand what the stages of mourning are, and to be so aware in dealing with pain, even if it hurts. I talk about it in this article: Getting over the death of a pet: 5 steps you should follow.
Pain is a reminder that you truly loved your pet.
Our puppies are more than "animals," more than "people."
They have seen us through major life changes, such as a divorce, illness, relocation. Or even just starting a new school or a new job.
So you agree with me that the reaction to her loss is devastating and consistent.
A pet is truly a gift that can change your life, improve it and make it truly fulfilling and positive. It creates you positive daily routines, fills spaces that, without them, would be empty and boring.
Your puppy teaches you things that you might not have learned without him, such as responsibility, patience, kindness, unconditional love.
And the funny thing is that he does it even if he chews on your slippers, or scratches the sofa, drops a sack full of flour (that's a funny misadventure of Argos and me).
I miss my dog, and people don't understand my pain
But going back to the opening speech, the thing that I really struggled to bear, were the phrases they said to me, as I dealt with the loss of Argo.
Above all, in the first weeks of his death, friends and acquaintances said to me… “What's the problem? He's just a pet!"
"It will pass quickly.. after all it was just a dog".
Some people feel that the loss of a pet shouldn't hurt as much as the loss of a person, or that it's somehow inappropriate to grieve the loss of a pet.
But as I say above, either they don't have a pet, or they aren't able to appreciate what a pet gives: companionship and unconditional, unending love.
The reaction I had with my friend was unforgivable, dictated by pain and instinct (and I'm still ashamed of it).
It is easy to condemn these people for what seems to you an inexcusable lack of understanding. But before you blacklist these friends or acquaintances, remind yourself that few people have experience coping with pain, whether it's their own or that of others.
Pain makes people uncomfortable
Have you ever noticed?
Most of the people close to you would really like to help you, but they just don't know how, they don't know what words to choose to comfort you.
And sadly those words they find can often seem insensitive or out of place to you. When instead their intention is to make you feel better.
"Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened" — Anatole Francia
Some Advice When Others Devalue Your Loss
I want to help you by giving you some advice that I have put into practice myself and which saved me from having tantrums while grieving the loss of Argo.
Don't argue with others about whether or not your pain is appropriate. They wouldn't understand anyway.
Rather talk to those who have suffered the same mourning as you, whether they are a friend, a relative or even a simple passerby.
Accept that the best support for your grief may come from outside your usual circle of friends and family.
When my dear Argo passed away, the most significant gesture was that of a passerby, and I sincerely hope that you can have someone to help you deal with your pain.
Look for other people who have lost their pet
They are the ones who can appreciate the extent of your loss. Who can really understand you and help you by suggesting ways to get through the grieving process.
There are also pet loss support groups that can help you.
In my own small way I can help you overcome this moment through my articles: in each one you will always find advice or experiences that I have lived on my skin.
The Flower pup portraits themselves were born to face the death of my sweet Argo, and give them a purpose so that in these portraits you can rediscover the love that your pet has given you, day after day. So that you can commemorate him forever.
The Flower pup book also aims to help you deal with the loss of your puppy with awareness.
In the Flowerpup team many have experienced this devastating loss firsthand, the book was born to give you a safe haven where you can put the pieces back together, one step at a time with us.
I hope all of this can help you. Remember that you are not alone, and that you can always find comfort here.
A big hug,